i always liked my lips. everyone used to tell me how pink they were. i'm glad i liked them too because it was pretty much the only thing i really liked about myself growing up.
when i was my ten year old self, i complained that my boobies were all wrong. one was bigger than the other. i stressed about it so much that my mom had to take me to the doctor for a check-up. turns out boobs are almost often not the same size especially when they are beginning to grow out. one popping out before the other is quite normal.
that was just the beginning of the many lamentations of my young life. there was the issue of the tummy. no matter how thin i was (and i was always this thin, lanky girl) i always, or so i thought, had a "puson" (meaning, tummy-pouch in filipino). then it was the legs - too thin and long and hairy. then it was the hairs. it was growing from everywhere. and i mean everywhere, hairy beast that i am. butt - too small. nose - too wide. eyebrows - too thick. chin - too fat.
looking back, these were miniscule, itsy-bitsy bites of useless concerns that i made into big ones because of - tadah! you guessed it: cultural/societal conditioning. i realize that now because i am this all-knowing, oh-so-full-of-enlightened-wisdom woman of 38, right? WRONG. i still whine over my pouch which, of course is a gazillion times bigger than its original size, thanks to three 9+ pounders babies, as is everything else about my body. and don't even let me start with the hairs because they are now beginning to sprout from under my fingernails as well. ok. that's a lie. but, hey, it could very well be on the way to that with the way things are going. my boobs? they are still not the same size one being longer than the other. yes, you heard me. l o n g e r. that can't be good from cosmo, vogue, the society's perfectionist point of view, right? my enlightened self says "F@#@-it and f@#$#-vogue, F@#$% my insecurities because i choose to take me for what i am now, be it long, short, fat, wide, hairy, scary - in one word: BEAUTIFUL. "
besides, i can't do much about it anyway so i might as well enjoy what i've got while i've got 'em.
and if and when i do lose them, there's always the store of Dr. X's Used Body Parts to shop in.
smoocheroos, buckeroos!
Saturday, April 29, 2006
pucker up
the cutest baby(ies) in the world
(together with MY cutest babies in world, of course.)
thanks, punkinmom - who is my 4th blog reader in the world - for allowing me to share beautiful clara through your magical photography.
always in awe of your gift, K.
other cute flickr "babies" who i am gaga over ~
proof_sheet
aletheuo
maryanne_b
my list of favorites is always growing.
this world is so full of passionate, talented, loverly people, i tell you.
go now. go. and feast your eyes ovar thar.
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peace
love
joy
~iKat
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Friday, April 28, 2006
Me, Going Bananas
i mean that
L I T E R A L L Y.
(just ask marge.)
LOL
“Motherhood has relaxed me in many ways. You learn to deal with crisis. I've become a juggler, I suppose. It's all a big circus, and nobody who knows me believes I can manage, but sometimes I do.” ~ Jane Seymour
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
gypsy in my soul
because you threw it all away one day a long time ago.
because you chose to be a coward instead of following your heart.
because you chose the safe path instead of the road less travelled.
because you did not listen to the cry of the spirit, the ache in your soul.
and so now you anguish over what is
you say it has no connection to the past
but what you are beginning to see
is that it is all connected to it
it is your present because of it
it will be your future
if you continue with those choices above
learn
learn courage
learn to listen
learn here
learn now
and learn to cry no more.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
hey, you. yes, You.
Canon 300E
Thank you...
For teaching me that following one's heart creates miracles in life
For sharing your brand of courage with me through your words, travels, connections and disconnections
For reminding me that imperfect is perfectly fine
For living your life with gratitude - no matter what
For showing me your true colors - no matter what
For looking at me with trusting eyes
For the willingness to see me
For believing what was, what is and what will always be
Way before anyone else did.
thank you.
i love you.
yes, You.
********
peace
love
joy
~iKat
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Saturday, April 22, 2006
blue magic
i could really use some magic in my life right now...
ahhhhhhbracadabra!!!
bahar, thanks for sprinkling your brand of magic and brightening our otherwise drab morning, sunshine. little did i know that your flowers for oona would be the buffer i needed for the news that came after you left.
we love you BIG.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
oona's bliss
"the creative person has to dissolve all shoulds and should nots. he needs freedom and space, vast space, he needs the whole sky and all the stars, only then can his innermost spontaneity start growing." osho
3 trees, a sunset and a story about a camel's hoofprint
A Frenchman was crossing the desert with an Arab guide. Day after day, the Arab never failed to kneel on the burning sand and call upon his God. At last, one evening the unbeliever said to the Arab, "How do you know there is a God?"
The guide fixed his eye upon the scoffer for a moment and then replied: "How do I know that a camel and not a man passed last night? Was it not by the print of his hoof on the sand?" And pointing to the sun whose last rays were fading over the horizon, he added,
"That footprint is not of man."
From Creativity, by OSHO
Monday, April 17, 2006
light me up
I had the chance to go do Visita Iglesia again after a long time. Visita Iglesia which means Church Visit is the Filipino religious' practice of visiting as many Catholic churches as you can (in our case, as many as our hungry stomachs can patiently wait feeding for) during Holy Thursday in preparation for Easter.
I have to blasphemously admit I was in it for the escape-from-home factor. Originally. Turns out the Powers that be had a different agenda because on this evening of the church-hopping, tummy-grumbling, adventure, I met three of the most interesting, exciting, and refreshingly genuine Pinoys - like me *cough* (to a fault, succulents! *wink*) on the planet. God must really love me noh. Wa na nga pray much, meron pa play(mates) match!
Ta, Maro, Jun ~ your beauty lights me up! Again and again, gratitude and love to my ever dearest BFG/Ms. Mella (& PapaMon) for always hooking me up with the brightest lights on the planet.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Saturday, April 08, 2006
kitchen stories
Canon 300E
just having fun in the kitchen
experimenting with our new canon sd450.
wow, the handheld-ability! ;-)
Your Quirk Factor: 65% |
You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal. No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average." |
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peace
love
joy
~iKat
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Friday, April 07, 2006
Lemonade Story 03
Have you heard the phrase - A photo is worth a thousand words? Well, if that's the case, this one says it all. Makes me smile...and salivate! Everytime.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Pretty Shiny Things
Canon 300E
In my book, I write about a photographer named Elizabeth Sunday, who said, “I believe in myself. I believe in my vision, my life, my talent, my art more than anyone. No one can take that away from me.” We can choose to be affected by the world or we can choose to affect the world. I never passed algebra, I’m not good at games involving balls being thrown or kicked towards me. For years, I struggled with all that I wasn’t. But seeing and believing in who I truly am has given me an unstoppable faith and conviction in what I can do with my life.
In Spilling Open, I write, “I think when I can get to that place of self-acceptance and a sense of calm assurance in who I genuinely am, if I can believe in who I am, what I need, what I deserve and what I must express, then I can let go of the struggle of self-acceptance based on their approval of my beauty, boobs, thighs, or sketchbooks. I will dare to do just what I do. Be just what I am. And dance whenever I want to.”
~ Sabrina Ward Harrison
Thank you, Ms. Harrison. You took the words right out of my mouth. Happy Dancing! ;-)
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peace
love
joy
~iKat
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Sunday, April 02, 2006
Accidental Heartcake
“Small children give you headache; big children heartache”
Russian Proverb quotes
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Path Going Home
“When you examine the lives of the most influential people who have ever walked among us, you discover one thread that winds through them all. They have been aligned first with their spiritual nature and only then with their physical selves.” ~ Albert Einstein
Pink Rock Fountain
The words that follow strike a very deep cord within. Having grown up exposed mainly to the Western ways of doing and getting, this is absolutely refreshing, familiar, like a warm, welcoming embrace as opposed to the hard tugging, pushing and pulling that I have been so accustomed to.
Creativity is a very paradoxical state of consciousness and being. It is action through inaction, it is what Lao Tzu calls wei-wu-wei. It is allowing something to happen through you. It is not a doing it is an allowing. It is becoming a passage so the whole can flow through you. It is becoming a hollow bamboo, just a hollow bamboo.
And then immediately something starts happening, because hidden behind man is God. Just give him a little way, a little passage, to come through you. That is creativity - allowing God to happen is creativity. Creativity is a religious state.
Creativity simply means you are in a total relaxation. It does not mean inaction, it means relaxation - because out of relaxation much action will be born. But that will not be your doing, you will be just a vehicle. A song will start coming through you - you are not the creator of it, it comes from beyond. It always comes from beyond. When you create it, it is just ordinary, mundane. when it comes through you it has superb beauty, it brings comething of the unknown in it.
The more you think, the more you are. The ego is nothing but all the thoughts accumulated in the past. When you are not, God is. That is creativity. - OSHO
Looking back on my creative life, I can attest to this sacred truth. The times when I was not working consciously on taking breaths was when, in my humble opinion, the work came out most breathtaking.
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peace
love
joy
~iKat
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