Saturday, April 29, 2006

pucker up

pucker up, originally uploaded by iKat Kreations.

i always liked my lips. everyone used to tell me how pink they were. i'm glad i liked them too because it was pretty much the only thing i really liked about myself growing up.

when i was my ten year old self, i complained that my boobies were all wrong. one was bigger than the other. i stressed about it so much that my mom had to take me to the doctor for a check-up. turns out boobs are almost often not the same size especially when they are beginning to grow out. one popping out before the other is quite normal.

that was just the beginning of the many lamentations of my young life. there was the issue of the tummy. no matter how thin i was (and i was always this thin, lanky girl) i always, or so i thought, had a "puson" (meaning, tummy-pouch in filipino). then it was the legs - too thin and long and hairy. then it was the hairs. it was growing from everywhere. and i mean everywhere, hairy beast that i am. butt - too small. nose - too wide. eyebrows - too thick. chin - too fat.

looking back, these were miniscule, itsy-bitsy bites of useless concerns that i made into big ones because of - tadah! you guessed it: cultural/societal conditioning. i realize that now because i am this all-knowing, oh-so-full-of-enlightened-wisdom woman of 38, right? WRONG. i still whine over my pouch which, of course is a gazillion times bigger than its original size, thanks to three 9+ pounders babies, as is everything else about my body. and don't even let me start with the hairs because they are now beginning to sprout from under my fingernails as well. ok. that's a lie. but, hey, it could very well be on the way to that with the way things are going. my boobs? they are still not the same size one being longer than the other. yes, you heard me. l o n g e r. that can't be good from cosmo, vogue, the society's perfectionist point of view, right? my enlightened self says "F@#@-it and f@#$#-vogue, F@#$% my insecurities because i choose to take me for what i am now, be it long, short, fat, wide, hairy, scary - in one word: BEAUTIFUL. "

besides, i can't do much about it anyway so i might as well enjoy what i've got while i've got 'em.

and if and when i do lose them, there's always the store of Dr. X's Used Body Parts to shop in.

smoocheroos, buckeroos!


Anonymous said...

you'll forever be beautiful to me mumzy- long boobs, sagging tummy and all:)

iKat said...

awww...i love you, too, Mumzy2. bananas or no bananas. (y'know, saging=banana. mwahahaha)

Rebecca said...

Hey, I came across your blog via the Reign of Ellen. Anyway, wow, I think every girl has a similar story - I'm eighteen and only in the past couple years have I begun to decide maybe I'm not completely ugly. Yay for feminism!