Waiting

...waiting for the room...


...waiting for the show...


...waiting for the blowfish to blow, blow, blow...

Solomon and Oona on Vacation,
Subic Bay, Olongapo, Pampanga

Friend or Foe

SAVE THE WHALES
SAVE THE OCEAN
SAVE THE EARTH




Whale Show, Subic Bay, Pampanga

Hello Diary

I remember the very first time. I recall looking around the store at all the different books, stationery, and fine little Hello Kitty things that were the most precious posessions to an eleven year old girl. Then, right there in the center of the display counter it lay. Hard-bound, red and white, a drawing of a wide eyed girl in pig-tails in a baseball outfit. Written in bold red letters right in front were the words "Hello Diary".

Hello, Diary, indeed! It was the one. My very first. My fingers were shaking as I took it from the shelf. I opened it and touched the smooth pages of white lined with red. My diary. My new best friend. My confidant and keeper of secrets. It took all of my restraint to keep me from bolting out the door right there and then and finding a quiet corner to begin my journey with My Diary. Of course I had to line up and pay for it first.

It's been twenty plus years and twenty plus journals since that fateful day. My husband complained the last time we moved. There were more boxes of books, notebooks and my precious journals than there were furniture or clothes. I admit. I have a fetish for anything book or paper. But for good reason. My love for journalling helped develop my love for books and vice versa. My writing has also improved ever since I started scribbling into my diary. My state of mind is always better after a good writing session. I could be in the fowlest of moods and all I have to do is hunker down and start pouring my heart and soul out into the pages. Minutes later, I am breathing easy again. And with the advent of journaling technology, we now have the neater, easier to access, light-on-shipment-and-storage fees blog. I can almost hear my husband cheering somewhere.

There is magic in journaling. It is creative. It is a release. It helps put things in perspective. It helps clarify intentions and therefore speeds up manifestation. Best of all I love journaling because it is healing.

I still have that very first one in storage somewhere. When I get the chance I am going to pay tribute to her (I'd like to think it's a girl.;-) and post a photo here one day. For now, I share my present favorite journal with you.

Happy journaling!


My favorite journal, "Red" with big sister "Apple" Canon 300D

Huge

As I sail into the sunset... Boracay, Canon 300D

This HUGE one is from Andrea Scher's Superhero Journal. It blows my mind each time I read about it. Go ahead. Read and see for yourself.

There is a scientist named Dr. Masuro Emoto who has shown {through high speed photographs of water crystals} that an ordinary glass of water will literally change form according to the name you label it with. You may have seen this experiment in the film, What the bleep Do We Know?. Emoto labeled glasses with different words such as: "love", "war", "hate" or "joy" and then photographed the crystals as they froze in each glass. The results are mind blowing.

From the website:
"What has put Dr. Emoto at the forefront of the study of water is his proof that thoughts and feelings affect physical reality. By producing different focused intentions through written and spoken words and music and literally presenting it to the same water samples, the water appears to "change its expression".

He found that water from clear springs and water that has been exposed to loving words shows brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns. In contrast, polluted water, or water exposed to negative thoughts, forms incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors."

I have always subscribed to this philosophy, to the pure power of intention. In my mind, there is no argument: if one thinks and says something often enough, it will come to pass sooner or later. One of my favorite lines is "To think is to create." And therefore, saying (or writing) it ups the ante of power over what we are thinking.

Whenever I would see proof of this, like the one mentioned above, my soul-mind does cartwheels and rejoices.

I rejoice in the power of healing words.
I rejoice in the power of positive thinking.
I rejoice in the power of heartfelt prayer.

I rejoice in the power of intention. Good intention.

Peace.
Love.
Joy.

Steadfast

Colors Photo by Patrick Frias, Boracay

to work from where I'm at
as per what life presents to me.
to grab hold of my destiny
and do with it what I will

all according to His will.

Amen.

"The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is "look under foot." You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think. The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are. Do not despise your own place and hour. Every place is under the stars, every place is the center of the world."
-John Burroughs

Courage

Sunset Dragon Boat, Boracay Photo by Patrick Frias, Canon 300D

It takes courage to push yourself to places
that you have never been before... to test your limits...
to break through barriers...
And the day came when the risk it took to remain
tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin

Missing You

The Missing Piece, Sea Wind Resort, Boracay Canon 300D

some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle.
and so it goes.
souls going this way and that,
trying to assemble the myriad of parts.

but know this.
no one has within themselves all the pieces to their puzzle.
like before the days when they used to seal jigsaw puzzles in cellophane
insuring that all the pieces were there.

everyone carries with them at least one
and probably many pieces to someone else's puzzle.
sometimes they know it.
sometimes they dont.

and when you present your piece
which is worthless to you,
to another,
whether you know it or not,
whether they know it or not,
you are a messenger from the Most High.
~Lawrence Kushner*

I miss you, Mr. Piece.

I wish you Peace.

Love,
Your one and only, Mrs. Piece



*quote courtesy of

jengray http:jengray.com

///Feb. 5, Puzzle

A Prayer For Our Children

Oona Gabriella at 2.5 yrs old Canon 300D


Dear God,

There are no words for the depth of my love for this child.
I pray for her care and her protection.
I surrender her into Your hands.
Please, dear God, send Your angels to bless and surround her always.
May she be protected from the darkness of our times.
May she always see You at the center of her life.
May her heart grow strong,
To love You and serve You.
I surrender, dear God, my parenthood to You.
Make me the parent You want me to be.
Show me how to love most patiently, to be there for her most fully,
To understand profoundly who she is what she needs.
May this family be a blessing unto her now and forever.
May she learn here values and principles of love and righteousness.
May she learn from me kindness.
May she learn from me strength.
May she learn from me the lessons of power:
That she has it and
Must surrender it to You, to be used for Your purposes throughout her life
For thus shall You be gladdened,
And thus shall she be free,
To live most fully and love most deeply.
That is my wish.
That is my prayer for her and for me forever.
Amen.

Marianne Williamson, Illuminata

Purple Thaw

The Artist Date, Cafe Breton, Boracay Canon 300D

Do you ever feel like you have so much to say but don't know how to start? Do you ever feel like you have so much to do but don't have any idea where to begin? I am having one of these moments again. I seem to always find myself in this 'lost' place. And always, I find that the best antidote to this problem is to simply jump in and begin.

Therefore, I. Begin. Again. And Again.

And. Yet. Again.

"...I'm almost never 'in the mood' to create something. It never seem to be the right nuance of emotion, or amount of time, or apathy drifts in and whispers things like 'why bother,' 'it won't look the way you want it to anyway,' or just 'why?'
Doing it anyway is just that. Create alongside moods. Create when your laundry seems like the most exciting thing in your life. Create when sickness overtakes you and you can barely walk to the kitchen. Create when you are ecstatically happy. Especially then." --- SARK, The Bodacious Book of Succulence

Double Life

Bert and Cora Pineda on their 39th Wedding Anniversary Celebration

"A double life sentence!" my Dad joked. It is my parents' thirty nineth wedding anniversary and the whole family is celebrating it over Mothers' Day lunch buffet at the Edsa Plaza Hotel.

"A double life sentence!" my Dad joked. It is my parents' thirty nineth wedding anniversary and the whole family is celebrating it over Mothers' Day lunch buffet at the Edsa Plaza Hotel.

A double life sentence meaning it's been twenty plus twenty years that he's been in "prison" with Mom. He loves doing that. To my utter dismay and my siblings' as well. We just hate it. His carino brutal style of showing his love for our Mom. Ask him what their theme song is and with a twinkle in the eye, he'll say "Release Me". Then he'd jump into a stanza and in his deep baritone go: "Please release me, let me gooooo...." and laugh. By himself. Because we are all frowning and we are definitely not amused.

Okay. Okay. Maybe a little. I have to admit my Dad can be cute when he does this. Definitely better than his Is-that-part-of-the-plan ultra-serious side, that's for sure.

But my Mom, she loves all this. She smiles a knowing smile. As if she is delighted. No, not delighted. More like...entertained? Or maybe she's not. But she smiles just the same. With my Mom, we will never really know. She is very private when it comes to things between her and my father. She is not the type to tattle-tale about anything, good or bad, about them.

Mom is fiercely loyal. And she loves my Dad unconditionally. Dad, in spite of his outward carino brutal manner of showing of affection, loves my Mom to death. My Dad would be completely lost without my Mom. Maybe it's this love and loyalty that allow them to be amused by all this.
Dad turns wistful after a while. In between bites of his steak, he allows us see some vulnerability for a change. He enthuses, "We may have been together for thirty nine years but it doesn't feel like that at all. Perhaps it's because of the love we have for each other that it seems like only yesterday when we first met..." and this is when we all start hollering and howling teasingly. Besides, Randy, Leslie, Joey and I are beginning to get embarrassed by all this show of genuine affection from Dad who is hardly affectionate!

Aha, there's hope after all!

In all, it was one super fun Mom & Dad Anniversary/Mothers' Day celebration. I loved it especially since we were able to bond as a family where our bellies ached not so much from over-eating but because of laughing so hard. But I do have to admit we may have had just a little too much of that delicious spread. I can still taste the nine lobsters I greedily piled on my plate.

We love you Mom & Dad. Carino brutal or not, thanks for all the love you have shared with us and with each other. Thanks for being our best examples of love and loyalty. May there be another double life sentence for you both. We can only aspire to have the same kind of love-prison for us who are just starting out in our married life 'sentences'.



Bert and Cora Pineda and the beautiful products of their "double-life sentences"

Trust the Unease

Bridge Of Red, Cafe Breton Canon 300D

it is a divine discontent.
it is a feeling of unease.
it is a spinning, a purging, a state of confusion,
it is an emptiness, a bulging fullness, a contradiction, a mere illusion...

it's that time of the month again.
it's insights and realizations and going within, deep and dark.
it's cyclical. that much i know.
it is to be welcomed rather than shunned.
if i work with it, it works with me.
i embrace the unease. i embrace the discontent.

i trust it now.

Wow Days...Fulfilled

Sunset, WhiteSandBeach, Boracay

There was God-glorious-sunshine, salt water and pure, sugary white sand beaches
And sunsets that brought the most breathtaking lights
And seafood that brought the most orgasmic sighs
And starry nights that brought back dreamy distant places


L-R (grown-ups) Jack & Kat Azimi, TonyPet & Leslie Albano, Joey Pineda
(kids) Joshim, Oona & Solomon Azimi

There was family whom I've missed so much
And laughs and chats and bonding over fruit shakes and buffet breakfasts
And checking out pearls, picking trinkety joyful things along the beach walk
And getting a henna tattoo that cost just a little too much (it stains the damn hotel sheets.)


Henna Tattoo Station

Although punctuated by tiny whiny cries from three tiny whiny creatures
In all it was still magical

And I am divinely grateful once more.

Happy Mothering Day

Mommy-to-be, Leslie** with nephew Joshim Canon 300D

This year, I made a special commitment. To myself. My Self. To care for, nurture, give time to me. To listen, really listen to what my insides are saying. To know when to stop spinning and to turn off. To do all this and not allow the old guilts to show up. To do this and not give too much attention to old voices from the past that say it's not okay since I'm not yet perfect - it's selfish, heaven-forbid - evil even! - to remotely consider putting importance on the Self - which, of course, is a bunch of right-wing religion-in-a box crappola.

So far, this Me First Project has showed some very positive results. Since I am able to take better care of me, I can take better care of my own family. I am able to spend more quality-time with loved ones because of a quality-me. Since I am more relaxed, cheerful, balanced, my outlook in life has improved tremendously as well. Since I am able to listen with my heart to that voice deep within, I am able to listen to others with ears connected to that place inside that can truly hears.

I like this Me that I've become. I like her because - she may not be perfect but she is more caring and kind. She still snaps and curses and fuzzes over things trivial, that's true, but she accepts these nuances of character and makes genuine ammends afterwards. Instead of covering up and denying her sinfulness, she admits to it thus creating an awareness from which real healing can begin. And this, to me, is what real caring for Self is all about.

That is something good. Not perfect, but real good.

That, baby, is good enough for me.

"There is no more beautiful way of honoring the love of the feminine divinity waiting to mother us than by celebrating the temple where her Spirit dwells on earth....

Today, as you walk through your own home, think year --- in small but tangible ways. There should be comfortable places from the living room to the bedroom that invite you to sit, sleep, relax and reflect. There should be small indulgences from the kitchen to the bathroom that pamper and please. There should be sources of beauty throughout that inspire, order that restores, and the quiet grace of simplicity that soothes. The poet Ntozake Shange writes, "i found god in myself and i loved her/i loved her fiercely."- Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance

**Thank you, sisterlove, for being one of my best Self-Care Expert icons. You seem to know this stuff by heart, you beautiful mommy-to-be! Shine on, bebe!!! - Love you lots, Ate C.