Saturday, July 30, 2005

Healing

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Piwaket and PalmDale, Hampton Gardens, Canon 300D

(for B.)

I will not apologize for choosing to be honest.
And I will not hide from the truth just because you choose to turn away.
I have learned the painful lessons early in life.
I just wonder how you've missed out on it,
Having experienced the painful drama together.
There was so much to learn from those dark years.
I find it so sad that you have chosen to repeat the old patterns.
And risk having the one's you love go through it all over again.

Can you even bear the thought?

If there was something all the pain of the past taught me,
It is that hiding from the truth, painful as it may be, only brings more pain.
Facing the truth, on the other hand, brings lasting healing.

I send you ~
Courage
Healing thoughts
Powerful prayers
and above all,
TRUE LOVE

I choose to heal.
I pray you do, too.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Baby Shower

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Mumzy2be, sisterlove Leslie

There's gonna be a baby shower today

There's gonna be lots of fun and games and blessings from loved ones
There's gonna be food and stories and music shared
There's gonna be laughter and tears
There's gonna be memory upon joyous memory to be cherished forever and ever

There's gonna be a baby shower today

And one very happy mommy-to-be!


There were twenty plus gift CDs to make.
A total of ten songs to burn.
And at eleven minutes per CD
This meant many hours of burning, burning and more burning.

There were three sisters around the work table.
Chatting, eating, planning, computing
"Are you sure it only takes ten minutes per CD?"
Snacks. We need more snacks.

After six hours, thirty minutes and forty-five seconds
We had nineteen gift CDs completed
Stomachs full of junk food
And hearts full of warm fuzzy feelings

The kind that only sisters can provide on a hectic CD burning marathon session.

"You bring deep joy in my life. I love you." ~ Zoeygal

And I LOVE YOU GUYS, VERY MUCH!


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The perfect gift from our perfect little angel to come

The songs:
Angel ~ Sarah Mclachlan
Just As Wonderful ~ Nina Mouskouri
So Amazing ~ Janet Kaye
Neverland Medley ~ Kenny Loggins
Return to Pooh Corner ~ Kenny Loggins
Cody's Song ~ Kenny Loggins
If I Could ~ Barbra Streisand
Not While I'm Around ~ Barbra Streisand
Sunshine ~ Gabrielle
I Will Be Here ~ Gary V.

Sisterhood forever!

For baby shower ideas

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Pink

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Thank you, my beloved, for this fresh, brand new journal! I love it, not just because it is in my favorite color ~ pink, nor because of the leaves and branches (a favorite photo subject) silhouetted on the cover but because it speaks volumes about your thoughtfulness and affection...of how you remembered me as you were probably walking the malls of Andalucia, and my silly love for paper, as you always jokingly put it, "My wife's sickness...paper, paper, anything paper!". And so you bought me a sweet pink journal, wrapped it, packed it in your blue suitcase and handed it to me that night of the tummy-knotting surprise arrival at the Albanos. I will never forget how you tried to quietly enter the den, I can still hear Sol's excited shrieks of joy, "It's Baba! It's Baba! Baba's here, Momeeeee!", I imagine the shocked but smiling look of awe on Oona's face as she looked up at her hero, and my unbelief as I was sitting in front of Leslie's computer, trying to be patient as I waited for you to go 'on-line' for our nightly ritual chat like we've been planning all day long. It was all so blissfully surreal...

You got me good, baby. Oh, you really got me good that night.

It's been wonderful, our journey of late. This year's vacation back to my home has done my soul a lot of good. I love how we've grown closer together once more, how we've made the much needed deposits into our Love Bank (His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr., a very timely gift from Tita Coney Reyes, thank you, bless you!) how we've healed beautifully from the many ugly bruises of moving to a new continent and the major shock to the system of new babies! shukur.
As one of my favorite writers Keri Smith shared in her Wish Jar Journals, "'Look how beatiful this big, old, lumpy and bruised heart is?', she said with a smile. With everything it has been through it's capacity to love is greater than ever." Thank heavens for our hearts's ever-growing capacity to love and love and love some more.

On this brand new chapter of our lives together, I imagine the new challenges of moving to a new place, the adjustment to the new environment, the grumpy kids and the grumpy us adjusting to a brand new life once again. And I know we will have our own new set of challenges as a couple that will shake us to the core. The bickering when we're tired from taking care of the home, the complaints from lack of attention that we have gotten so used to giving each other here, only possible because of our family and wonderful, wonderful nannies ~ Ate Marivic and Ate Berna, the arguments over when you should take out the trash, hang the towel straight and not drip all over the bathroom floor - again! I know this the way I know how the rains in Manila always come in June and how the potholes grow larger along with it. I know this the way I know how you snore extra loudly at night when you're tired and how I will sleepily elbow you and say "Turn to your side, honey...". I know this the way I know how my family especially my Mom and my sisters will cry buckets when they think about the kids and start missing their noisy laughter in the halls...

I know this because I choose to know it this time. My eyes are open. Thankfully, we have been strengthened by time, by the sacred devotion and honor we give to one another, always, ALWAYS blest by the grace of awareness of the Almighty. Above all that I am grateful for, it would be for God making a most-welcome showing in the midst of our crazy roller-coaster existence we call Life and making all that I know blissfully sweet no matter how crazy-beautiful... or crazy-painful.

Thank you, my beloved, for this brand new pink journal. But more importantly, I want to say "Thank you" for being there to fill the pages of my life's book with every crazy-color of the rainbow.

I love you. Always. All ways.

In the Love & Light of God,
Your Wife, K.
Hampton Gardens, Pasig City
Manila

"I am the vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch that doesn't produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned fro greater fruitfulness by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful apart from me. John 15:1-4 NLT

Monday, July 25, 2005

Too Blest

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Hands and Hearts, Jack & Kat, Tagaytay City

"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be
disappointed!"


Thanks, Liz, for sharing this one with the Tribe!

Love & Light,
Kat

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Fresh

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I know you're scared.

But here's a thought:
What if you chose Love instead of Fear this time?

I say it's time to move toward the right direction.
I say it's time to face the Truth.
I say it's time to be brave and LIVE.

You can do it.
I know you can.
If not for yourself, do it for the ones you LOVE.

Because in the end, LOVE IS ALL THERE IS.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Starbucks, StarF**#s

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Where to: Starbucks.
Time: Morning rush hour traffic.
Why: Dropping hubby.
Me: Doing best effort to be calm.
Cab driver: Mindlessly cuts me off.

Me: F**!@#.

Hubby: If you're gonna do it you might as well do it right, baby. You have to put more passion into it! 'F**@#!' Say it from your belly...F**@#! F**@#! F**@#%^ IT, MATE!"

This gets me good because while Jack knows every cuss word in the book, I, on the other hand, am not the cursing type, really. Except of course around the dreaded days of PMS when I can do it in three languages. Simultaneously. And the fact that what I have very recently forbade myself to do I am doing so loudly, and I mean screaming at the top of our lungs LOUD (in the privacy of our car, of course) makes the whole scenario even funnier.

I am pee-in-my-pants laughing at this point while at the back of my mind, my conscience makes a showing and guilt starts to creep around the corners. I decide to stuff it back where it came from.

Sinful. I am. So shoot me.

It was one of those very long mornings.

Looking back, I should have taken that offer for an over-priced cup of Starbucks coffee jelly. It would have made that embarrassing situation at the Megamall Supermarket check-out line a little more bearable.

Me: F**@#!

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Patrick's Tricks

I just learned how to do this:

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Thanks to my brother-in-law-to-be, Patrick Frias.

Pat takes the coolest, and I mean THE coolest photographs.
I adore how he photographs my kids.
I admire his ultra-natural nature shots.
I am inspired by his corks, peppers, leaves, glass distortions.
I marvel at how his eye takes in the simple and turns them into the spectacular just by the click-click-click of his shutter.
Most of all, I am blest by his generosity and willingness to share what he knows.

In all, he is one awesome artistic dude.

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Patrick, Regency, Boracay

I just love generous teachers.
Am I lucky to have him as my photo/mentor.
Even luckier to have him as a brother!


Thanks, bro.

Hey, let me know if you wanna learn this trick, too.

Yours in creative generosity,
Kat

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Anais Nin, A Collection

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Kubo at Leslie's, Tagaytay City

It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.
Anais Nin

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(Kat by Jack Azimi)

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me nave or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
Anais Nin

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Green Fan, Subic Bay

If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.
Anais Nin

Monday, July 11, 2005

The View

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Ridge at Leslie's and Taal Volcano, Tagaytay City Canon Rebel 300D


It was a most amazing two days.

A celebration of six years of togetherness.
A celebration of family. Three kids. Five lives. One home.
Forty eight hours of remembering what we have somehow forgotten...
That in the beginning there were two strangers
Who locked eyes in a place called "Havana"
And the rest is beautiful history

It was a most amazing remembrance

Corny as it sounds it was love-at-first-sight for me
It were those eyes that reeled me in
They were dark, mysterious, hypnotic
Either that or I had too much tequila
And with a line like "Excuse me, you have a very beautiful face."
I believe it is safe to assume it was the same for him
Either that or HE had too much tequila

It was a most amazing country suite

Our room that serendipitously had the same name
As the place we are planning to move to
"Andalucia", in EspaƱa
A photo that reminds me about a line
That says that "it's your choice, to look at the thick, dark, forest
Or enjoy the majestic trees instead."
Do I look at the tangled tree-branch fence right before me
Or do I enjoy that breathtaking view of the lake?

For now, I think I'll simply enjoy the view right across from me...
















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My darling husband,

Thank you for being my life-partner and best friend
For being an inspiration in kindness, passion and discipline
For being patient with my six million and one moods especially in the mornings
For being such a great Baba to our three kids
For holding my hand in this most amazing journey called Life

And yes, thanks for celebrating Year Six with me.


I love you, now and always.


Kathreen

Monday, July 04, 2005

July 4, 2004

He came to me a year ago.
All ten pounds two ounces of fresh baby.
Joshim Abraham Pineda Azimi.
My giant boy. My Jesus boy. My Joshim boy.

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He is his Baba Jacky's Hasheim jaan.
His Papa Grandpa's Jose/Hoisin sauce.(!)
His Momoni jaan's Ibrahim jaan.
His Babajaan's Gool i Baba
His Tita Leslie and Tita Joey's MochiBall.
His Aunt Bahar's Little Dolphin.
His Nanny's Little Governor.

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They all have these cutesy names for our cutesy boy.
His first official word is "duck" followed closely by "dog" at nine months.
His favorite activity is walking. He took his first step at ten months.
His favorite foods after Mommy's breastmilk are Ate Berna's tinola and arroz caldo.
His favorite song is Somewhere Over the Rainbow, his lullaby Hush Little Baby

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His smile...oh, that big smile just brings a sweet sizzle in his Mommy's heart
His hands are humongous.
His voice is booming enormous.
He's got the most commanding presence in the house.
And the strongest bite to boot!
Whether happy-playful, sleepy-angry, annoyed-hungry
He will show it by his signature gigil bite
On either toy, spoon, teether...
Shoulder, ear, finger...
We've learned our lesson well, and painfully, too!
His front teeth, all four on top and two below came out almost at the same time
As if racing to take center stage along with their owner

This early I can tell that this one is going to be larger than life.
Call it Mother's Intuition.

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No matter the name, no matter the size,
No matter the bitten off, lost body part
Our little big boy will always be Mommy's little angel
Today, tomorrow and forevermore.

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Happy Birthday, my darling baby.
In this mother's humble opinion
The fourth of July has now found a truly worthy reason for its fireworks.


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(Photo by Leslie Pineda-Albano)