Thursday, January 12, 2006

Boobs & Bellies

[Note: this is not an endorsement]

There it was.
The day of the inevitable finally came.
Jiggling tits and asses on daytime tv.
Not that it hasn't happened before.
But this was a first on the quite GP-kid-friendly
Ellen Degeneres show
With my three children right smack in front of it.

The Pussycat Dolls
are currently the most popular girl group in the pop music world.
They have this really bouncy hit Don't Cha that's catchy enough
To make my five, three and one year old
Stop and look up from their drawings
And turn to the boob tube (pun intended)

I was trapped between getting my mid-day entertainment (I love Ellen)
And being conscientious, protective mommy to my brood
But even before I got to the remote
My one and three year olds were bouncing along
With the littlest one shouting
"Booby! Booby!" while smacking his lips
Reminiscent of his breastfeeding days
The six ladies shook, sashayed and shimmied
Bodies gyrating with hankies for tops
Oh, yes, they sang, too.
And not too shabbily, if I may add.

My five year old was unmoving,
Fixated on the boobs on the tube, I thought amused.

Me: You like that, Sol, huh? (Ahhh, my boy is turning into a young man too soon...)

Sol: (eyes still glued to tv) Why are they doing that, Mom?

Me: Um...what do you mean, honey?

Sol: (face serious) That's belly dancing they're doing.

Me: was running out of vowels. I am not sure what to say at this point. Did he mean to say that as an innocent question or as a judgment call? Isn't he too young for that? Now may be a good time to change back to the cartoon network to avoid further discussion.)

Sol: They're thin. They don't have bellies.

Me: Okay....? ( five year old is talking about half-nekkid women's body parts...) Um...who wants some snacks?

Sol: You got a belly, Mommy. (referring to the jelly-belly pouch they just love to pinch and poke and pat while listening to stories of where they came from)

Me: ( he going to start comparing his Mom's perfectly imperfect body parts with these perfectly perky jiggly dancing bits? How do I start lecturing about inner beauty to a young boy? I knew I should have grabbed the remote sooner!)

Sol: (eyes lighting up) YOU should be doing the belly dancing, not them. You've got the belly for it, they don't!(triumphant AHA! look on his face)

I am falling off my chair at this point, laughing so hard. My three kids are laughing along with me, wondering what Mommy thinks is so funny. I am relieved that my son's innocence was still intact.

I have absolutely no idea where he got the absurd notion that belly dancing required jelly-bellies like that of his mommy's.

Ahhh....the jiggly and belly-less, Pussycat Dolls CD: $4.95
The innocence and adoration of a child for his beloved Mom and her "belly-dancer" jelly belly: Priceless.

My dear gorgeous friend, Vivienne, graciously shares this photo with us.
Now, Sol, THIS is a real belly dancer, okay. Just for your future reference, honey.



Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this story... for those of us who dream of having children some day these are the moments I dread and dream of, all at the same time :).

With Love,

iKat said...

You betcha, sweetie! (Yes, you will start using the words honey and sweetie more and more, too. Reflex. LOL).
Anna Quindlen said that the world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torturous. The woman nailed it right on the head!
And you say you're still "waiting" for motherhood time? One piece of advice: Enjoy the act of sleeping while it lasts!!!
Thanks for dropping in.