Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Case of the Giant Woman

I could not find a picture of the giant woman that will do justice to her "giant-ness" so I picked one that represents her in my mind: a giant glass of bubbly, sunny, vitamin fizzy.

Family love rules.

It was overwhelming in the beginning. All the mandatory kissing - at least twice, one on each cheek. If you were really fond or want to be extra respectful, you kissed three, four, five more times. I know! It weirded, no - freaked me out. Hello. We hardly kissed in our family and when we did, it was hardly a kiss but more like an ever so slight brush on the epidermis of one - ONE cheek.

I married into an Afghan-Canadian family which, although modern and more open about their beliefs, still had their values deeply rooted and practiced during the more formal occasions.

"A salom a laikom, chuturasti, hoob? Shukur... which is all the Farsi I know and means HelloHowareyouI'mfinethankyouHow'syourfamilyMother,father,brother,sister,cousins, nephews,nieces,petdogcatgoldfish.....?

...and the list can be as long as you allowed it to be. No breaths in between, by the way. Oh, no, no, no! If you took as much as a tiny whiff of air in between any of these sentences - oooooh, nooooooh - you just committed a most disrespectful act (interpretation: I'm bored so I have to actually pause to take a breathe in between sentences) and risk disinheritance. You could actually turn purple from lack of oxygen while doing the greeting routine, remember you have to do this with each and every person in the room so by the time you reach the last guest on the floor, you should be ready to dial 911 or at least have someone around know CPR.

Then I met her. This tall, giant woman. All 5'10", 20 years of her. If she wanted to she could look like she just stepped out of a magazine and I'm not talking about National Geographic. This woman I'm talking about is my sister-in-law, B. She had the kissing routine down to an art form. She was a mandatory kissing machine complete with the greetings and the pleasantries. I was amazed. I was in awe. I said to myself, for somebody so young and inexperienced in the politics of life, now that's award-winning acting worthy of a couple of Oscars and throw in an Emmy just for kicks.
As time would have it, I got to know my SIL a little better every year. Each year, I got less and less awed by the acting and more amazed at the possibilities: What if all this was genuine kindness and familial camaraderie? What if she meant every word, every kiss? Okay, human impossible, I agree. But taking away the days when you have real reason to be a bit down, y'know, migranes, PMS's, break-ups, she still had a great batting average. It's been six-going-seven years of getting to know B and here's my verdict: She's the real thing, people. I'd like to thing my faker-sniffer radars are still working perfectly fine. I've proven it over time. Either that or there's gonna be a very big therapy expense coming in giant woman's mail! What I'm trying to say in this blog is: I love my SIL to bits. I have six years of family sleuthing to prove it and if you knew me well enough, you know that no amount of awards in gold, silver and bronze can convince me to fake anything, period. Maybe a couple dozen books but I digress. Also, I did put on my list of what I want in s husband the following things among others ~ Passion. Affection. Expression. I got it alright. All of it and then some more - in him and his family!

Honeybun, you taught this grumpy, snooty Mama well. I will always be in awe of your your experienced smoochers and amazing personality. (Zits? Who cares! She's got a great personality! LOL) You have shared with me the finer points of your very passionate culture and threw in a dozen laughs in between which makes me love you even more. By the way, Chip & Dale's is not a cartoon, babylove, not the one we're referring to anyway. Name the time and place and I'm there. LOL Just make sure you folks will not disown you or me for this one!

Family love rules.

It not only rules, it ROCKS!
Hard and long and true and
Bahar jaan, I love you, bebeluv!
*six kisses on each cheek and a breathless how-you-doing-jigar-nafas-makorbon-e-shawam

******** peace love joy ~iKat ********

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have no word to say but, FEELINGS are mutual.... ok well i think i can think of a few words... like:
You were a breath of fresh air to our ENTIRE family, let alone myself. Your true, honest expressions all gave us a reality check, for we sometimes tried to escape it, or better yet mask it, which then would have contributed to the GIANT therapy bill. I along with the rest of the gang are EXTREAMLY priviledged and HONORED to have such a TRUE and REAL woman, mother and wife apart of our lives and in our hearts.
to wrap up this mushy comment that is making my eyes tear.... I have loved my brother Jack (your beloved GENIOUS who left the door open) from the begining of MY time, but i have been PROUD of ever since he introduced our Philipino (sorry if spelling wrong) BETTER HALF. i love you lots and lotssssssssssssssss, more than kisses and hugs would ever fully show, i would have to dent your cute dipples furhter deep from all those kisses.

lots of peace and happiness my jan wa jigar!