Warning: This blog may contain offensive language and foul-smelling bits and pieces of information. Literally. So if you are turd-queasy, get off the page. Now.
Our weekend Filipino nanny shared with me some not-so-palatable info about her employer's kids. Apparently it is common practice among these youngsters to pick their noses and eat their boogers. Not only that, one of them has actually developed a taste for the stuff that comes up when one has a hacking cough. I believe the clinical term for it is phlegm. I don't want to sound snooty and all but my kids are banned from this kind of sport. Besides if it happens behind my back (which I'm sure it does) they don't go around saying "But it's delicious!" Now if this has not grossed you out yet, let me go even further. When they go, and I don't mean to #1 (or is it #2) they simply get some tissue and wipe when done. Wipe! No water, no wetnaps, no nothing. To add insult to injury, the kids only take a bath twice a week and when they do bathe, they stew in their tub and don't even rinse after.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.
I've heard about the Dry-Wipe method story from a friend of mine, a flight attendant which gives her access to interesting varying poo stories from around the globe. The practice of dry wiping is apparently wide-spread and accepted. With all due respect to each culture's hygiene (or lack of it) practice let me say: Not in my
In the Philippines where I grew up we had a tabo in every toilet and bathroom. A tabo, in my opinion, is a hygiene-conscious genius's creation.
Tabo. All-powerful, ever-useful, hygienically-triumphant device to scoop water out of a bucket _ and help the true Pinoy answer nature's call. Helps maintain our famously stringent toilet habits. From Asianjoke.com
I noticed that the tabo is not sold in stores here in North America nor is there anything which serves the same purpose (which makes the theory of dry-wiping as the accepted practice in these parts even more Ew-able.) So what are we immigrant tabo-users to do? Need is the mother of invention or in our case, the lowly tabo needs to be re-invented. Enter hybrid tabo a.k.a milk pitchers sold for a dollar or so in almost all supermarkets.
The blue pitcher not the glass, silly!
Though there is a tendency to drip water onto the floor as it is not ergonomically designed for hygienic purposes. The closest alternative are those synthetic watering cans from IKEA that have long spouts the length of my arm which, on second thought, may injure the user. So scratch that.
So the question remains: Are you to Tabo or not tabo?
All I can say is, thank goodness my husband's family belongs to the first group! I will not stand for skid marks in my laundry.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.